Feeding: When my baby feeds he sounds like a crack addict who knows better

It’s week two and already I am starting to nail down his different noises and movements 
And if any soon-to-be-Dads are reading this thinking “…that’s a weird thing to track” then all I can say is that, yes, it is weird. Yet oh so necessary.

Soon you, like me, will pick up on all and every sound, movement and excrement your baby makes. The fear and confusion over what the hell he or she needs from you, right there and then, overrides any sense of weirdness. Suddenly you will be an expert in the language of your baby – from the pre-feed tells, to the different types of crying (the gassy crying, to the seriously-guys-why-didn’t-you-pick-up-on-my-pre-feed-tell cry) to the different mixtures of the wee.

And it is the noises whilst he is feeding which I find most entertaining.

For instance, when he is in a happy mood during the day, he sounds like a goose. All tongue tied weird sucking.

If he is having a particularly long, indulgent feed, he whips out the marathon runner, whereby he starts to breath quickly and heavily, as if he’s trying to break his personal best time.

Or my personal fav: the crack addict whimper. As if we’ve deliberately kept him away from his sweet nectar only to feed his addiction, and he’s both upset and delighted at the same time. Like a crack addict who knows it’s so wrong, but feels so, so right. 


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