Don’t Chloroform your baby, no matter how sleep deprived you are… 

When it’s 4am and you’ve not slept you WILL consider anything to sooth or quieten him…

It can be the worst. Literally the worst. Super upsetting, you feel like a failed parent, you slightly hate him for continually crying, and you’ll want to walk away from it all. 

But it’ll pass eventually. Although right there and then that doesnt feel likely. 

If I’ve got any advice it’s throw him or her on a boob. But if that option isn’t available – the boobs are too sore, are out on the town, are sleeping upstairs, or you’re proving to yourself that you’ve got this – then attempt your repertoire of soothing in a repeat cycle.

So bounce, sing, jiggle, hug closely, pop him over your shoulder, stick him in the Wookie Womb, or escalate by bringing out the big gun: Ewan the dream sheep

And repeat.

I know I sound like a Davina fitness DVD, but goddamn it REPEAT! You may not get dreamboat abs, but eventually your annoying little friend will quieten and sleep…eventually.  

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