22 things they don’t tell you before having a baby

There are various things you’ll already know about having a baby. Then there are the things you’ll pick up at your NCT classes or via google. And finally, your friends and parents will undoubtably throw advice and experience into the general direction of the soon-to-be-mother. But what about us Dads? Well, here a few things…

Why won’t he stop crying!?

Because he’s a bugger. Or, more accurately, because he’s either hungry, gassy, uncomfortable or over-tired.  At a month old it’s still really hard to understand which it is. And each one has its own technique: a boob in the face, lots of bouncing, simply adjusting his position, cuddling etc etc.  If by luck or design…

Daytime TV and Dion Dublin: My wife’s new life 

The role of the stay at home parent can be a very lonely one. But luckily there are daily TV show presenters to replace work friends.  And during my paternity leave I watched them, too, and my overriding observation is this: when and why did Dion Dublin become a presenter of Homes Under the Hammer?!…

Am I boiling my baby!? Bath time is an emotional rollercoaster

Baby Feline has had a fair few baths so far (still super spotty though…). And if you consult google there is a lot of chat about getting the temperature right. Which is obvious, right?  But what is the right temperature? And how do you know? Is hot for me hot for him? Aaaaaaand this is…

Does your baby shart, too? Infacol will help

Seriously. It’s almost impressive (it is totally impressive) how loud this little chap is. Want to hold my baby? He will trump on you so graphically, and so forcefully that you may drop him (please don’t). Even the midwife who was doing his heal prick test, and who must have seen thousands of bubs, jumped…

He’s four weeks old and has teenage acne…

Poor little chap. He’s a spotty little bugger. But apparently it’s his baby hormones running around, rather than the fact I’m dragging him through mud every day or that he’s super early developer… I’ve googled it and most babies pimple out a bit in the first few months. So long as you airbrush your instagram…

Tongue tie: If your baby has one then you should read this

I’ll say this upfront: If your baby has a tongue tie, get it sorted asap, regardless of what the midwives say. My son had a tongue tie when he was born. The midwives identified it straight away, but told us that it was a minor one and that it wouldn’t cause him any problems. And…

Think you’ve got a sleep/eat pattern? Think again

So my son is almost four weeks old and we’ve declared a sleep/eat pattern about five times. Every time we think we’ve nailed it, and every time it is disproven.  Your baby always sleeps more in the evenings? Soon he or she will be shouting the house down during Countryfile. Cluster feeding at lunchtime that…

When the milk first comes on people should back off

I shudder at the thought of Day 3. Soon-to-be-Dads, take note. And already-Dads, stop reading. The memories will be too much. Day 3, or whenever the milk comes on, will be the worst day you will have in a long, long time. Essentially it’s the day that the breastmilk taps turn on and with it…

We’re visiting you? 16 things you should know and accept

He’s going to shit himself at some point in your house. Possibly to leakage levels, inevitably to social indecency levels One of us will be emotional The stay at home parent has not slept in 2017. The working one caught some sleep about a week ago… Annoyed the baby is 3 months old and it’s…

Visiting my baby? 8 things you need to know, do and bring

Bring food. Preferably ready to eat, or at worst super easy to prepare (microwave, removing a lid, possibly putting on a plate) And your washing up skills You WILL take the baby. Staying longer than an hour? See you later, we’re going to sleep. Not staying long? Hold him whilst we wee, stretch, clean off…